I’ve always been a very “keep-to-myself kind of person”, especially in those dark days. I’ve laughed and made jokes about the fact that people have called me a hippie and a hermit. Oh, they didn’t mean anything hateful… most of them are friends who feel they know me enough to truthfully say that! 🙂
Still, I guess in a way, it’s always been true. My past, the mistakes I’ve made in life, it’s all come around to having firmly cemented walls and gates, safely put in place so that maybe I wouldn’t get hurt again. I think, looking back on it, I didn’t even realize they were going up. Now that I do… well, it occurs to me that maybe it’s time to change that.
You know, when I was “in the world”, it was nothing to play in front of hundreds of people, front bands and say things I didn’t even really believe it. It’s easy to create a persona when you really have nothing of your REAL SELF left inside. Even a hermit crab can take an empty shell and do something with it. It’s eventually cast off for bigger and better shells, but you get the point.
Seeing The Light
Not long ago, I was complaining that I couldn’t do “thus and so” without encountering more people than I was comfortable with. A long standing joke is that I always make a quick exist when things get “too peoply”. It’s just always been that way. It was then that Jimmy (my husband) said something to the effect of, I couldn’t get out there and work for Jesus feeling like that.
And you know…he’s right! And I don’t want to that person that misses an opportunity to tell the good news of the Gospel because my self-esteem is bad or because I feel like the words just won’t come. I don’t want to be that person.
So today, I’m taking a major leap of faith. I’m sharing a video I made several months ago. As many of you know, I’ve said that God has spoken to me on several occasions to record videos for His glory. I finally got the ball rolling with a few, and I think it’s time to put them out there where they might do some good.
I only ask that you DO NOT look at me… see Jesus above all else. Because that is the ONLY reason I share. His glory is the greater gain and it will never be any different!