Mustering Courage

Trying to muster up the courage to share something from your past is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things in the world to do. That’s one reason I have so much respect and admiration for those that can do it. Especially the ones who have been through even more than I have.

In my own situation, I often wonder, “Why give place to the devil? Why bring up the accomplishments HE has had in my life?” which often stops me cold in my tracks.

I am a firm believer in moving on. Further away from what I’ve been through, further away from the tears, the lonely nights, the suicidal thoughts, the need for anything to take me away at no concern whatsoever for the end result. I don’t want to go back there. I just don’t.

I have recently been praying and I wonder sometimes if the small things that seem to be confirmation are actually, really confirmation or not. Which prompts more prayer and so the circle continues.

Well, it’s been two years coming. It was the reason I started this blog, in a way. I just never realized that the further away from the past I got, the less I even wanted to think about it, let alone go back and relive it and stir it all up again. Aren’t the sleepless night enough? The nightmares? The regret?

<sigh>

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  1. There are times, though, where God will have us revisit our past but in the means of sharing our testimony of where He brought us from, also when we share some of our past with someone who may be going through something similar, they can see that the past no longer holds you down, that you got through it, but also they find a familiar person who says, I understand, ME TOO! when they find someone who shares the familiarity of their past, they learn that by giving a voice to the hurt they are experiencing, it takes away the power and helps them to know that they do have hope! So i definitely can see both sides of this! There is a difference in Living in the past and revisiting the past to help someone else!
    LOVE YOU!

    1. Wow, I guess somewhere down inside, I already knew that. And there is a lot on my heart that seems to stay no matter how much I pray, and that could be why. Thanks for sharing your heart, sis. I think that’s just what I needed today 🙂 I love you!

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