Everyone that knows me knows that I pray with all my heart that my daughter will come to know Jesus. It’s not to say that she doesn’t know of Him. No, she’s heard enough to know of Him. In fact, she had quoted Scripture to me countless times when she realized I forgot it myself. Times when I lost my cool, times when I lost my hope, or just times when I was being plain ugly.
She knows of Him.
I was praying one night last week, and I was quite honest with God… Lord, I know that Your ways are not our ways, but I have to be honest with You. I don’t understand why it seems like to me You’re not answering this prayer for her salvation! I’m not praying selfishly either. I am praying for her salvation, plain and simple, and it looks like that would be something You would honor, Lord. I’ve cried, I’ve fasted, I’ve stayed up entire nights in prayer. I’ve done everything, it seems, but to sit in sackcloth and ashes! I dare not accuse You, Lord, I’m just being honest that I can’t understand why.
That particular night, I told Jesus, if there was something I was missing, that I would gladly be still and silent in His presence if He would please, just speak to me. A vision, a dream, a feeling, a confirmation… ANYTHING, LORD!!
And so, I was silent. All. Night. Long.
Eventually, sometime after daybreak that next morning, I fell asleep. But I still couldn’t understand. Of course, that will not deter me, and I even told God that! I said, Lord, if I don’t see the answer today, then I will be right back with the same petition!
But then Sunday came, and virtual church began. And our Pastor was speaking about the woman who followed after Jesus, from Canaan. It was a wonderful sermon, of course, but one simple statement grabbed hold of me immediately.
She was crying after Him, Lord, have mercy on me! My daughter is vexed with a devil!
I have to think that I know how she felt. I mean, a mother is with her child more than anyone. She knows when something is not right. What’s more than that, can you imagine when she heard tell of a man who could heal her daughter! I believe it didn’t take long for her to decide to find Him and do whatever was necessary to obtain that healing for her own daughter. After all, she must have heard that not a soul who came to Him for healing ever left without the cure they’d come for!
Yes, I think I’d cry after Him too, if I were her!
But, when she got there… when she found Him… and when she told Him what she needed, it wasn’t at all like she’d heard it would be:
But he answered her not a word.Matthew 15:23
For her, it must have been frustrating. Unlike me, she had Jesus right there in front of her! She was following Him, and it’s safe to say she was close enough to know that He heard her! But he answered her not a word.
But she didn’t plant her hands on her hips and ask Why aren’t You answering me? In fact, she apparently didn’t stop crying after Him at all, because the disciples wanted Jesus to send her away. And He could have. But instead, He said it wasn’t her kind that He had been sent to.
So, she came closer and worshiped Him and begged His help. As if He’d never said a thing.
His next words insinuated she was a dog! I have to say, of all the times I’ve felt like God didn’t answer my prayers, I’ve never thought that He was calling me names. Of course, He meant it to say that the children should eat first, proverbially speaking.
She didn’t even argue with Him. In fact, she agreed! Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.
And that was enough to warrant Jesus seeing a faith in her that was great! And He did answer her prayer!
Maybe I’m in that stage where I’m crying out for my daughter and He’s not answering me a word. I may not understand it all. I’m sure that woman from Canaan didn’t either. But you know what I think? I think she was SURE that He COULD heal her daughter! And I think she wasn’t even going to consider the idea of leaving until she found favor in His eyes!
Even if it was only a crumb!!
I bet someone else out there is waiting like me. If so, let’s take a minute to drink in this Scripture story in Matthew 15. Let’s take notes. Let’s not try to deny a thing, but rather let Him know that WE know… that He IS able!
Even during these times when He isn’t speaking a word…